The Emotional Cycle of Change

Its 02:00 in the morning in November, I am struggling to sleep, and anxiety is through the roof. Luckily for me, I know that this is because its exams season and the fear of failing is constantly pushing me to study. It’s an all too familier a feeling, I’ve been here before, but why haven’t I learnt to manage this anxiety better over the years? Well….

Life is full of changes, both big and small, and we all go through a whirlwind of emotions as we navigate them. I wanted to share with you the five emotional cycles of change, a journey we've all been on at some point in our lives, knowingly and unknowingly. I just want to offer some insights on how to make it through the tough times.

Success and failure are both on the same path, one just happens sooner… I’ve quit too many things the last few years. Always reverting to my old ways after I quit. Little did I know I became a stagnant person experiencing zero to little growth, always looking for the next best thing… Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side, thinking that success can happen overnight.

Well, life is tough, and I figured that out really quickly and early on in life. I also understood that we just have to be tougher no matter what.

Generally, I would be wasting time and teaching you about stress, what it is and how to manage it. I am sure you have heard that broken record a million times already and you still get stressed either way, like me today.

Lets look at the changes we go through and maybe an understanding of them can help us navigate through life a little better.

Stage 1: Uninformed Optimism: At this stage, one is usually filled with extreme optimism for the future, just like how you felt on your first year of university, The excitement and zill is fueled by lack of knowledge of the challenges ahead. The naïve you. My advice for you at this stage is; make sure to list the benefits of what you hope to achieve so that when the going gets tough, you can remember why started.

 Stage 2: Informed Pessimism; As the journey progresses, negativity starts to creep in. You see the challenges and the costs more clearly. Frustration and self-doubt become your companions. This is the phase where you start questioning the benefits and your abilities. But remember, this is a natural part of the process. A lot may quit at this point but not you, not me. We press on, no matter what.

 Stage 3: The Valley of Despair; Ah, the valley of despair, the lowest point in the change cycle. Here, the benefits seem distant and unimportant. It's tempting to quit and return to the comfort of the old ways. This is where most people throw in the towel. The good news is, it's only upward from here. You stayed through the second stage, what was stage three? Its not easy and support from everyone is limited. Remember, only you can have your own back. This is the point where you go back and remind yourself of the list you made in stage one.

 Stage 4: Informed Optimism; with persistence and effort, you start to see the road ahead more clearly. You become more optimistic. You're getting better at what you're doing, and success seems within reach. The benefits begin to outweigh the costs, and you start believing in yourself again. Light at the end of the tunnel. It is still not easy, but the mental war is getting better and the journey becomes part of you.

 Stage 5: Success and Fulfilment; At last, the cost of change is seen as worth it. You've crossed the finish line. Actions that were once difficult are now routine. You feel gratitude for pushing through, and the journey becomes a source of fulfilment.

Remember, we all want to leap from Stage 1 to Stage 5, but we can't skip the process. The most crucial thing you can do in Stages 2 and 3 is to actively fight for your stage one list every day, regardless of how you feel. That is your dream and that is your success and self-fulfillment.

Consistency is key. It's not about waiting to be motivated; it's about taking positive active steps of consistency, even on the toughest days. Tony Robbins a famous American author and coach once said, "Progress equals happiness."

So, if you're currently in the midst of change, hang in there. Embrace the rollercoaster of emotions and remember that each stage is a necessary part of your journey. Keep moving forward, and you'll eventually reach the summit of success and realization.