Languishing

Welcome to April's edition of Ndlalane Health Newsletters. It has been a while since I last wrote something, and I assumed that perhaps I was just busy or experiencing writer's block. It wasn't until I listened to a podcast featuring Grace Wade, a health reporter for New Scientist, and psychologist Corey Keyes that I came across an interesting topic with which I wasn't too familiar. I enjoy learning new things, so I was naturally drawn to listen. They were discussing a new buzzword: "languishing." As Corey Keyes described the term, I started to feel that maybe the reason I haven't been writing is because I have been languishing as well.

In today's article, I will be sharing the conversation between the two people I just mentioned and hope it will help you learn something new as well as potentially assist you in overcoming a state of languishing that you may not have been aware you are in. I will make the questions that the reporter was asking in bold and the answers just below that. I hope you enjoy.

What is languishing?

Languishing is the absence of well-being. It is when people feel they have nothing positive going on in their lives. No meaning. No mattering. No warm, trusting relationships. No happiness or joy. Yet it doesn’t necessarily mean negative emotions like sadness or fear. People who are languishing almost feel nothing. They describe it as being numb or dead inside. I call languishing the neglected middle child of mental health, since it falls between mental illness and mental well-being.

How is languishing different to-depression?

Only one symptom overlaps between depression and languishing, and that is a loss of interest in life. The remaining signs of depression are all about sadness or malfunctioning on a daily basis: you sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little and you might have suicidal thoughts. Depression is defined by negative symptoms, whereas languishing is characterised by the absence of positive ones.

Some people’s descriptions of depression may fit languishing because it is possible to be depressed and languishing at the same time. That isn’t to say they are the same thing.

How can someone be languishing and depressed at the same time?

My research has shown that mental wellness actually exists on two dimensions: mental illness and mental health. People can have no mental illness and poor mental health – in other words, they are languishing yet don’t have a mental health condition. Or they can have a mental illness and high mental health. For instance, someone with bipolar disorder can still feel happy, interested in life and have warm, trusting relationships. You can also have poor mental health and a mental illness simultaneously.

Is it possible that people attribute languishing to depression because they don’t know how else to describe how they feel?

Certainly. People who fit the criteria for languishing often seek traditional mental health treatments. My hunch is that many people who are languishing are swept into the wrong category because it is simply assumed they have depression. Or they are swept under the rug and told they are fine, even though they feel something is wrong.

We tend to think the opposite of depression is flourishing, but the evidence suggests that isn’t true. Treating depression doesn’t mean someone will regain their full mental health. They may still languish, which increases the risk of them relapsing back into mental illness.

Is there a way to assess if you are languishing?

About 25 years ago, I developed a 14-item questionnaire that assesses mental well-being, or what I call flourishing. It asks questions across three domains: emotional, psychological and social well-being. Things like, how often do you feel satisfied in life? Do you feel you belong to a community? Does your life have meaning or purpose?

People with low scores on at least half of the questions are considered to be languishing. This has been validated in many different cohorts of people across the world from the US and Europe to South Africa and Asia. There is now a robust body of evidence showing this measure is distinct from depression.

Isn’t it a normal part of life to sometimes feel this way, though?

I am prepared for the inevitable criticism that says I am pathologising a normal part of life. Yes, languishing is normal. So are sadness and fear. But normal doesn’t mean you must stay there and wallow in it. When you are sad for an extended period, you start slipping into mental illness. The same is true for languishing. Studies show that about 40 per cent of teenagers in the US are languishing, so it is normal to a degree. But when kids languish for too long, it becomes dangerous. They start engaging in risky behaviours, like experimenting with drugs, and are more likely to drop out of school.

Think of it like a stagnant stream. If water stops flowing for too long, scum and algae begin to form. People who languish feel stagnant, too. They are not growing, and humans are meant to grow.

What happens if people languish for a long time?

Languishing is the equivalent of being mentally unhealthy, similar to how unhealthy physical habits like not exercising enough or eating too much junk food can lead to illness.

People who languish are less productive at work. Research has shown that languishing may leave us vulnerable to developing depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicidal thoughts. It might also raise the risk of premature death. Plus, languishing exacerbates mental illness. People who are depressed and severely languishing have the highest risk of attempting suicide, for instance.

What can people do to help themselves flourish?

There are five activities that research shows help people feel more joy, gratitude, hope and other positive emotions. I call them the five vitamins. These are: helping others, learning something new, playing, engaging in spiritual or religious practices and socialising. Not only will you have a better day if you choose to participate in these activities, but you will also slowly move out of languishing and closer towards flourishing.

Could you give some examples of activities that help overcome languishing?

When it comes to helping others, simply buying someone coffee or helping your neighbour carry their groceries inside isn’t enough. That is nice, but it has to be a slightly deeper commitment. The ultimate goal is finding your purpose in life. The idea is to leave the world a better place in your own unique way. Having a purpose is deeply protective – it keeps you going when life gets tough or when you must make sacrifices.

Some people are lucky enough to experience this through their careers. But this is rare – only about a third of people find purpose in their work. Most people find it elsewhere. I would suggest starting small. Keep it local. Often, volunteering one day a week for a couple of hours is sufficient. Or maybe try coaching a local youth sports team or tutoring students.

What else?

The second “vitamin” is learning something new. This isn’t about building a skill for immediate economic or practical value. It is about building a skill to grow and improve, which feels good. And this can be learning an instrument, taking up painting or starting to garden.

For play, I essentially mean playing games. A good game creates a sense of accomplishment and helps people view themselves as a source of cause and effect. It helps them realise that what they do matters because what they do has consequences. But it doesn’t have to be a game in the traditional sense. Writers and artists play with ideas. You can also take everyday, mundane tasks and turn them into a game. For me, it is creating lines or artwork in the grass when I am mowing my lawn.

What sorts of activities help with the final two “vitamins”?

Engaging in spiritual or religious practices is important because we need something or someone beyond us to help encourage us, especially when we feel weak, to become stronger and do the right thing. What is there to guide you towards becoming a better person? If religion and spirituality don’t click with you, then I suggest turning to philosophy – something that allows you to practise ways of thinking and behaving in a world where you need to understand what you can and can’t control.

The last vitamin is about socialising. We are finally understanding that loneliness can be detrimental. It turns out the absence central to languishing involves three things linked to loneliness. One is the absence of warm, trusting relationships. Second is not belonging to a community and the third is not contributing to a community. The way to address this isn’t more connections, but enhancing the quality of connections. You must find your community, or your home away from home. Then you must develop relationships where there is trust, vulnerability, reciprocity and affection.

How long does it take for these activities to relieve languishing?

There is no research on a specific timeline. Longitudinal studies have looked at the effects over a few months and it doesn’t take long to see some benefit. The activities are about improving your day, and you don’t have to do all five every day. Usually, people just need to choose one a day and they will feel better than if they had done none.

The only way to stay flourishing is to remain committed to these habits. If you stop, you will start slipping back towards languishing. So, make them part of your daily or weekly routine.

Is flourishing the same as being successful?

No, at least not in the way society tends to define success – an impressive career, good grades, wealth. Success in that sense can actually be destructive.

For instance, a study of US college students found that those who are Asian-American are more likely to languish than those from other racial or ethnic groups. This is despite the fact that Asian-Americans have the highest median household income and tend to have higher-status jobs. But I think that is part of the problem. The determination and pressure to succeed is so strong that I suspect it requires sacrificing many things, including well-being.

I hope you found this discussion really interesting and meaningful, just like I did. Now I realize that if I'm not in a good mental state, but also not necessarily depressed, I might be experiencing something called "languishing." So, to wrap things up, you know it wouldn't be our newsletter if we didn't have a concluding thought. As we move forward and try to incorporate the five new vitamins we've learned about, it's essential to remember that our intentions play a crucial role. Don't practice things just to outperform others; instead, focus on your own personal growth and becoming a better version of yourself.

Reference

Grant, A. (2021, April 19). There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing. The New York Times. Retrieved from [URL]

Wade, G. (2024, April 04). Are you languishing in life? Here’s how to find your purpose again. New Scientist. UK